| How to Mend a Broke |
| 12/14/2009 |
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| How to Mend a Broken Friendship ? Growing up across the street from each other in Twin Falls, Idaho, Lisa Fry and Paula Turner never doubted their friendship would last forever. But after Fry marriedmanifold gaugeGHD Hair StraightenersAnt Killerdoor curtainsstrip doors, moved to New York City and had a baby, her letters to Turner suddenly went unanswered. "Do you think I've somehow offended her?" Fry asked her husband. Finally, Fry summoned the courage to call her old friend. At first, the conversation was awkwardbrake pipelow carbon steel tubehand dryersplastic extruderball valve manufacturers, yet soon they both admitted that they missed each other. A month later, they got together and quickly fell into their old habit of laughing and sharing confidences."Thank goodness I finally took action," Fry says. "We both realized we were as important to each other as ever." There are good reasons to cherish our friendships. Some years ago a public-opinion research firmchina flights cheapsheet metal fabricationindoor playgroundfitness equipmentkids playground, Roper Starch Worldwide, asked 2007 people to identify one or two things that said the most about themselves. Friends far outranked homes, jobs, clothes and cars. "A well-established friendship carries a long history of experience and interaction that defines who we are and keeps us connectedChina travel sitesChina travel agencyChina tourschina wholesalechina flights," says Donald Pannen, executive officer of the Western Psychological Association. "It is a heritage we should protect." Ironically, says Brant R. Burleson, professor of communication at Purdue University in West Lafayette, Ind. personalized golf teeschina group toursChina visagreat wall chinagreat wall of china, "the better friends you are, the more likely you'll face conflicts." And the outcome can be precisely what you don't want--an end to the relationship.The good news is that most troubled friendships can be mended. Here's what experts suggest: Swallow your pride. It wasn't easy, but that's what Denise Moreland of Hickam Air Force Base in Hawaii did when a friendship turned sour. For nearly four months, Moreland, 45, had watched over Nora Huizenga's two young daughtersball valveforged steel valveenergy meter3GPchina flights discount, who were living with their father on the base, while Huizenga, 40, completed training as a dental hygienist in Nevada. "I felt honored to be asked to step in," Moreland says. When Huizenga returned at Christmas, Moreland recalls, "I had so much to tell her, but she never called." One daughter had a birthday party, but Moreland wasn't invited. "I felt like I'd been used," she says.At first, Moreland vowed to avoid Huizengaleaflet printinged hardy t shirtsCheap handbagsWHOLESALE HANDBAGSwholesale bags. Then she decided to swallow her pride and let her friend know how she felt. Huizenga admitted that she'd been so worried about being separated from her family that she'd been blind to what her friend had done to help her. Today she says, "I would never have figured out what happened if Denise hadn't called me on it." When a friend hurts you, your instinct is to protect yourself. But that makes it harder to patch up problemswholesale pursesPrada HandbagsDesigner HandbagsNew jordansdesigner bags, explains William Wilmot, author of Relational Communication. "Most of us are relieved when differences are brought out in the open." Apologize when you're wrong--even if you've also been wronged. No one should allow himself to be emotionally abused by anyone. But over the course of a friendship, even the best people make mistakes. "A relationship can grind to a standstill if the offender refuses to make the first move at reconciliationconvert video to ipodgift bags suppliersNike shoescoach handbagssports shoes," Wilmot explains. "Under these circumstances, it may be best if the wronged person takes the initiative and apologizes--for getting upset, for not understanding the friend's circumstances. When you apologize, give your friend the opportunity to admit that he'd screwed up." Experts agree that one of the worst things you can do when you're upset is to start a fight. "We don't think clearly when we're arguingair jordansair maxnike shoxgolf teesReplica Handbags," says Michael Lang, a professional mediator in Pittsburgh. Instead, says Lang, ask: "What's going on? This do |
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| Mid-Autumn Festival |
| 12/14/2009 |
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| Mid-Autumn Festival The joyous Mid-Autumn Festival, the third and last festival for the living, was celebrated on the fifteenth day of the eighth moon, around the time of the autumn equinoxdie castingpower levelingpsp converterVilla for lease in Shanghailightning arresterMany referred to it simply as the "Fifteenth of the Eighth Moon". In the Western calendar, the day of the festival usually occurred sometime between the second week of September and the second week ofOctober. This day was also considered a harvest festival since fruits, vegetables and grain had been harvested by this time and food was abundant. With delinquent accounts settled prior to the festival , it was a time for relaxation and celebration. Food offerings were placed on an altar set up in the courtyard. Apples, pears, peaches, grapes, pomegranates , melons, oranges and pomelos might be seen. Special foods for the festival included moon cakesbeijing escortchina tourblister packingnike dunkadidas superstar, cooked taro, edible snails from the taro patches or rice paddies cooked with sweet basil, and water caltrope, a type of water chestnut resembling black buffalo horns. Some people insisted that cooked taro be included because at the time of creation, taro was the first food discovered at night in the moonlight. Of all these foods, it could not be omitted from the Mid-Autumn Festival. The round moon cakes, measuring about three inches in diameter and one and a half inches in thickness, resembled Western fruitcakes in taste and consistency. These cakes were made with melon seeds, lotus seeds, almonds, minced meats, bean pasteinjection molding machineprada shoesWow goldBuy wow goldCheap wow gold, orange peels and lard. A golden yolk from a salted duck egg was placed at the center of each cake, and the golden brown crust was decorated with symbols of the festival. Traditionally, thirteen moon cakes were piled in a pyramid to symbolize the thirteen moons of a "complete year," that is, twelve moons plus one intercalary moon. The Mid-Autumn Festival is a traditional festivity for both the Han and minority nationalities. The custom of worshipping the moon (called xi yue in Chinese) can be traced back as far as the ancient Xia and Shang Dynasties (2000 B.C.-1066 B.C.). In the Zhou Dynasty(1066 B.C.-221 B.C.), people hold ceremonies to greet winter and worship the moon whenever the Mid-Autumn Festival sets in World of Warcraft Goldvoltage regulatorresidual current deviceair hornNike Air Force one. It becomes very prevalent in the Tang Dynasty(618-907 A.D.) that people enjoy and worship the full moon. In the Southern Song Dynasty (1127-1279 A.D.), however, people send round moon cakes to their relatives as gifts in expression of their best wishes of family reunion. When it becomes dark, they look up at the full silver moon or go sightseeing on lakes to celebrate the festival. Since the Ming (1368-1644 A.D. ) and Qing Dynasties (1644-1911A.D.) puma shoesmen's shoesDental Laboratory Equipmentbronze fountaincopper tube, the custom of Mid-Autumn Festival celebration becomes unprecedented popular. Together with the celebration there appear some special customs in different parts of the country, such as burning incense, planting Mid-Autumn trees, lighting lanterns on towers and fire dragon dances. However, the custom of play When I'd finished the sit-ups, I'd normally do about twenty-five press-ups before going to the top of the stairs and doing my chin-ups. The way the bar was positioned meant I could see the people passing in the street nike dunk sbhockey jerseysvacuum packaging machinepallet wrapping machinemanolo blahnik. That was deliberate. To be honest, I've never been a natural exercise freak and you need something to distract you, take you away from the reality of it, otherwise you go mad. So I'd watch people without them knowing and then occasionally someone would pot me through the glass pane in the door, spot my head going up and down, and you could see them double-take, trying to work out what was going on. From out there it looked like magic. Levitation. A nice way to end a heavy-going routine. But on this morning that I'm talking about, I really wanted to see the street and pull my own weight - I didn't care about the rest. I skipped the press-ups, went straight to the bar and hooked my hands round it. I don't know how much you know about itbaby strollerAir jordansair force shoesnfl jerseysautomatic flushers, but when you do a chin-up you meet your own fingers in a position you don't usually come across. With the nails facing you, like somebody else's hands are reaching out to touch your face. I remember looking at my fingers, all white, all the blood gone travelling elsewhere, and thinking that this was OK, doing this with your fingers. Do you know what I meanchina valvejordan shoesnike air maxBall Valvesgate valve manufacturers? It wasn't holding a camera or writing a concerto, but it was OK. It made them tingle. It got the blood going, and that's the whole point, isn't it? Whatever gets the blood pumping. Whatever makes you feel high; unreal. We went up to the lounge and talked about some stuff, stuff that was happening in school. Cole was one of those people who's always trying to put a spin on things. All you got from him was, 'Of course she likes you', and 'Don't worry about thatAir jordansPRADA SHOESGUCCI SHOESNIKE SHOXpuma shoes, he won't give you any trouble'. So by the end of a conversation with Cole you sort of felt you were the king of the world, even though he was the one with his head in the heavens. I remember he was talking, flattering me and everything, and I kept looking at him and feeling this strange pride, as if the fact that he was so tall was something to do with me. Then I got this burning urge to show him to Kelly.'Wait here,' I said, 'I want to get somebody. Just a minute. Just stay here cheap shoesretro jordanoil filterhockey jerseysGHD Straighteners I knocked on Kelly's door a few times but of course she didn't answer so I pushed it open a crack. It smelt like shit in there. I didn't think the sheets had been changed since she moved back. She was asleep but she had an old black and white film that she'd been watching, The Philadelphia Story, playing on the video. |
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| The Only Guide to H |
| 12/14/2009 |
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| The Only Guide to Happiness You’ll Ever Need And yet, this search for happiness can be a lifelong search, especially if we look at happiness as something that will come once we achieve certain goals — a nice homeeq2 power levelingbuy ffxi gilmontessori materialsBlu Ray DVD Copy Blu ray burner, a perfect spouse, the ultimate promotion … and when we get these goals, instead of being happy, we often are looking forward to being happy when we meet our next goals. Happiness shouldn’t be something that happens to us in the future, maybe someday, if things go well. Happiness should be here and now, who we are now, with the people we’re with now prada shoesgucci shoesreplica sunglassesShanghai rental propertiesfinal fantasy xi gil, doing the things we’re doing now. And if we’re not with people who make us happy, and doing things that make us happy … then we should take action to make that happen. That’s the simple formula for happiness. Take action to do the things that make you happy, with the people who make you happyprada shoesair filterpower leveling wow power levelingwow power leveling, and to be happy with the person you are now. (Disclaimer: this probably doesn’t apply, of course, to those who are clinically depressed or who have other similar medical conditions which I am not qualified to discuss.) Spend time with those you love. This might seem almost the same as the item above, and in reality it’s an extension of the same concept, a more specific application. Spending time with the people you love is extremely important to happiness … and yet it’s incredible how often we do just the opposite, and spend time alonewow powerlevelingpower leveling power leveling wow power levelingeq2 platinum , or disconnected from those we love, or spend time with people we don’t much like. Make it a priority to schedule time with the people you love. Make that your most important item of the day. For myself, I have a time when I cut off work, and the rest of the day is for my family. Weekends are exclusively for my family. And by setting aside this sacred time, I ensure my happiness by letting nothing come between me and the people I love most. Do the things you love. What do you love doing most? Figure out the 4-5 things you love doing most in life, the things that make you happiest, and make those the foundation of your day, every day. Eliminate as much of the rest as possiblepower leveling eq2 platgucci shoesair max 95cheap ugg boots. For me, the things I love doing are: spending time with my family, writing, reading, and running. I do those things every day, and very little else. It may take awhile to get your life down to your essentials like I have (it took me a few years of careful elimination and rescheduling and saying “no” to requests that aren’t on my short list), but it’s worth the effort. Focus on the good things. Everyone’s life has positive and negative aspects — whether you’re happy or not depends largely on which aspects you focus on. Did you lose today’s softball game? At least you got to spend time with friends doing something fun. Did you sprain your ankle running? Well, your body probably needed a week’s rest anyway, as you were running too much! Did your baby get sickugg boots on salecheap evisu jeanseve iskeve online iskwow power leveling? Well, at least it’s only a flu virus and nothing life-threatening … and at least you have a wonderful baby to nurse to health! You can see my point — almost everything has a positive side, and focusing on the positives make all the difference. My Auntie Kerry died last week (as you know), and I’m still grieving, but I’m happy I spent time with her before her death; 2) her death has brought our family closer together; 3) her suffering has ended; and 4) it reminded me to spend more time with the people I love while they’re still alive. Do work you love. An extension, of course, of doing the things you love, but applied to work. Are you already doing the work you love? Then you’re one of the lucky ones, and you should appreciate how lucky you arewow powerlevelingdesigner handbagstiffany braceletAir Force one nfl jerseys. If you aren’t doing the work you love, you should make it a priority to try to find work you’re passionate about, and to steer your career in that direction. Take myself for example: I was doing work that I was good at (just last year), but that I wasn’t passionate about. I was passionate about writing, and so I pursued blogging … and with a year of hard work, was able to quit my day job and blog full time. I’m so much happier these days! Lose yourself in your work. Once you’ve found work you love, the key is to lose yourself in it … clear away all distractionsnba jerseysnhl jerseyshockey jerseyslouis vuittonConverse all star, find an interesting and challenging task, and just pour all your energy and focus into that task. With practice, you’ll forget about the outside world. There are few work-related joys that equal this feeling. Read more. Find time for peace. With the hectic pace of life these days, it’s hard to find a moment of peacenike dunksWholesale wedding dressesair force 1Dunk shoeswholesale shoes. But if you can make time for solitude and quiet, it can be one of the happiest parts of your day. Here’s how. Notice the small things. Instead of waiting for the big things to happen — marriage, kids, house, nice car, big promotion, winning the lottery — find happiness in the small things that happen every dayWomen's handbagswholesale handbagsrunning shoesBikini Swimwearcheap jeans. Little things like having a quiet cup of coffee in the early morning hours, or the delicious and simple taste of berries, or the pleasure of reading a book with your child, or taking a walk with your partner. Noticing these small pleasures, throughout your day, makes a huge difference. |
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| How to Really Get H |
| 12/14/2009 |
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| How to Really Get Happy It would be tough to argue that anything occupies a larger portion of our conscious “think time” than an endless quest for happiness.And yetKundenkartenbose headphonesaluminum coilgate valvescheck valves, despite this being the ostensible end goal for just about everything we do, we sure spend a lot of time … well … not feeling terribly happy. Are we bad at happiness? Actually? Yes. We sort of are. But it’s more complicated than that, of course.There are two big fallacies about happiness, and letting go of both of them will allow you to embrace your sunnier nature—and enjoy life a little globe valveroller bearingPortable DVD playersRay Banmolded case circuit breaker.What do you have to lose besides that whole “misery” thing?It’s not always that we’re “bad” at being happy. It’s that we’re frequently bad at accurately predicting what will make us happy. I’ve read numerous happiness studies which support this point (including, but not limited to the book, Stumbling Upon Happiness) some of which cite statistics and anecdotes about lottery winnersfoley catheterpolo shirtsfinal fantasy xi gilffxi gilbuy ffxi gil, models and movie stars, and others who should theoretically be so hopped up on natural beauty/money/fame bliss that they walk around in a perpetual cloud of joy that mere mortals can’t even wrap their sad, delight-deprived minds around. Except … that’s not the case. Rich people, beautiful people, and famous people may have lives that “stand out” more on Einflatable toysnike air maxnike airblock machinepregnancy testKnight Noah! True Hollywood Story, but they aren’t happier than the rest of us. In fact, if you’ve ever watched such a program, you’ve probably thought, “Dear God, thank you for not making me rich, gorgeous, and well-known.” Or maybe you haven’t. And it’s certainly a cliché that cash, looks, and constant paparazzi doesn’t lead you to the temple of contentment. But the extreme examples serve to highlight that we really do place a disproportionate importance on those three, in slightly less dramatic forms—our jobsevisu jeanstiffany earringscutting plottercnc engraving machinechina valve, our sex appeal, or popularity. So we mindlessly toil away without thinking, or worse, strive toward goals which we confuse with happiness. After all, many of us forget—or never learned in the first place—what really makes us content. As my friend, Tim Ferriss, writes in his bestselling business book, The 4 Hour Work Weekplastic business cardButterfly valvewholesale t shirtswow powerlevelingpolo shirt, we’re all too quick to “postpone the intense self-examination and decision-making necessary to create a life of enjoyment.” What do we do instead? Distract ourselves with the idea that more money (or losing weight, or getting married) will make us happy. Health Top Tips Nutrition Love Lifestyle Happiness Weight Loss So what’s the fastest way to really—really—figure out what makes you a happy camper?I remember reading somewhere that “happiness requires cultivationKnight GoldPerfect world goldCabal AlzCabal online AlzCabal Alz.” Take the time to cultivate your happiness. After all, what could be more important than that? Start a list. (Groan) I know, I know. Another list, just what you need. But seriously. You make excruciatingly detailed lists for the grocery store, the IRS, and your wedding. The least you could do is write down a few things that led directly to joy on your partCabal online Alzcabal power levelingwow powerlevelingwow power levelingffxi gil None of this “the end justifies the means” stuff (you’re not allowed to write anything that “might one day” make you happy. It has to create contentment right then and there.) And stop with the big things. “My apartment” is too … vague. “My boyfriend” is too general. What about your apartment makes you happy? The way the light streams through the windows at 7:30 a.m. everquest 2 platinum Everquest 2 Power Levelingeq2 power levelingguild wars goldcheap guild wars gold? The fact that you can’t hear your neighbors—ever? Your tiny little balcony, on which you fell asleep last Saturday night, on a blanket, because no chairs fit out there? That’s the sort of thing you should write down. If you get stuck, think of this very cheesy reminder—Maria in The Sound of Music, singing about “her favorite things.” It seems a bit juvenile, but I promiselord of the rings goldLineage 2 Power LevelingMp4 playerffxi power leveling, as you write down the silly little pieces of life that truly make you happy, I bet you’ll realize you’re happier than you think. And as you do, you’ll begin to notice that happiness is a choice—and it’s a positive feedback loop. As you choose to see the little things that bring you joy, you’ll start to see more of them, which will in turn, make you happier. |
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